Pit Bull Love

 

This is Nala, she’s a red nose pit bull and I love her to death.

 

When I first started dating Bryan he was living in Point Loma with his roommates Jimmy and Rachel, they had two pit bulls, DJ (Duke Junior) and Nala. At first there I was extremely scared of these two dogs, there were incidents when DJ would just pounce on me and even growl at me. For a whole year whenever I stayed over at Bryan’s house there needed to be a baby gate put up to ensure my safety.

 

In the evening when it was just Bryan and I alone at the house, he would have the pit bulls in Jimmy and Rachel’s room, I could hear Nala crying asking to come out, and I looked at Bryan and asked if he could bring her out. He opened the door and she ran out so excited, I sat there patiently, and she slowly moved closer to me, giving me licks and laying by my side. From that point we were best friends, she wanted to lay in bed with us and wanted me to drape her in my scarves and jewelry. DJ started coming around too, he would wait outside of the baby gate and hear us give praises and love to Nala, he wanted in on the action too.

 

At this time, Jimmy’s mom Susie moved into the room across the way from Bryans and she too had a huge dog named Buddy, Buddy wasn’t the brightest but he was the biggest dog I had ever seen. Just as DJ started coming around Buddy attacked DJ which caused him to lose so much blood. He laid in Jimmy’s room doped up on so many pain killers and I came in to give him so affection. I lay my hand across his aching body and told him that he would be just fine and that we were there to protect him. Something changed in DJ right after the incident and began to be gentle towards me; he would give me so many kisses as I walked in and jumped on me to give me pit bull hugs. He and Nala would come into our room and wake us up in the morning and lay in our queen size bed. They were over protective of me, even when Bryan would scream at the TV, DJ would jump on top of me and bark at Bryan to stop.

 

When we all had to move out, it was so hard not seeing their faces every day, but eventually they would be able to stay over a couple of times.

 

Then days turned into months, and months turned into years and then Bryan got news from Jimmy saying Nala was sick. She had a bad infection in Point Loma, but they were able to fix her right up, this was a different scenario, there was something more serious going on.

 

It was cancer.

 

Cancer is the scariest, most bone trembling word anyone can every hear, at this day and age I feel as if everyone’s been effected by Cancer one way or another. Nala’s vets tell us that she’s not going to live for much longer and that broke my hair. There’s a tumor in her nose and it has slowly started spreading to her eyes, after not seeing her for a little over two years, I finally got to see Nala and DJ. I was afraid that they wouldn’t recognize me and it broke my heart. I entered Jimmy and Rachel’s new house and they instantly ran towards me with so much happiness. There was so much kisses and tears from everyone, I hugged Nala and instantly we were both in tears, yes she and I both. She gave me a kiss and held her so tight, I told her I loved her and she cried, she smiled when I wrapped her very own scarf around her neck. She looked just like the same old Nala, it was only when I looked for it did I see her tumor, it was large and made her look like a Bull Terrier, all I cared about at that point was to make her happy. It was so bittersweet, it had taken so long for me to see them and here I finally was. DJ at points of his excitement would come to the couch, jump up to me as if to hug be and gave me the biggest kisses I had ever received from him.

 

When we were setting out to go back home, Nala refused to give me a kiss goodbye, I had to beg her, she sat there crying not wanting us to go. I cried for a while, especially because I did not want either one of them to think that I had loved them any less and for the possibility that they might have felt abandoned by Bryan and I. I hope that this isn’t the last time I see Nala alive and happy, I hope that the tumor magically goes away and she is healthy again.

 

Love your pets, you are their entire worlds.

 

Free the People

Free People did the craziest thing I have ever seen them do last Friday and everyone went absolutely crazy.

 

No they weren’t giving away free puppies, I wish, they were giving an additional 50% off discount on their sale items, which included tons of shoes, clothes, hair accessories, handbags, all that good good!

 

Of course I wasn’t going to miss out on this opportunity, I made it a point to only shop online because the stores would definitely be a hot mess with long lines out the door, trust me I shopped that random 10 for $35 Victoria’s Secret Panty Sale and I waited in line for over an hour!

 

No, no, no, no, no!

 

My first order, yes first, included a cross body bag and a blouse, I placed the order with some minor issues but we won’t talk about that. After another hour passes by I look at the site again and find even more goodies, which created my last order, did I mention that they were also providing FREE SHIPPING, it was like the Free People Goddesses were smiling down on me shouting, “Shop, shop some more!” I had to restrain my use of my credit card, which was for the good. $65 for a two blouses, a dress and a cross body bag, I wish I would have bought more, I really do, that my friends is my only regret!

 

My first order, which was partial, arrived Monday, my second order arrived Tuesday and my last item which was from my first order arrived today, Wednesday 27th! I looked again at their sale portion of their site and it went from 64 pages of just tops to 17 pages, that was so crazy.

 

Here’s my order…

 

 

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Coastal Scents Order Review

I am going to do you guys a solid and trust me when I say that the images on Coastal Scents is so misleading that you’ll say to yourself, “What the hell did I just order.”

 

I’ll provide photos from my order confirmation and a photo of the delivered goods and you can make form your own decision.

 

So, I had originally received a $5 off discount for my online purchase and I was excited to know that it was only $1.95 per piece, $10 a piece at MAC or $12 a piece at Anastasia, so I searched through the each page searching for the perfect hue of rose gold, I was ecstatic when I actually found some good candidates and I quickly placed them in my cart. Upon checkout though, the site prompted a 20% off code which didn’t make sense because I was only purchasing $16 worth of shadows, well the system deleted my $5 off code and replaced it with the 20% discount instead, I couldn’t undo their error, so I had to stick with the discount I didn’t want.

 

Other than that annoyance, they did arrive in a timely manner so that I will praise them on, but when I opened my package I felt a sense of confusion, the photos in my order confirmation were completely different from my actual order! What the F!? I mean the pinkish gold tones I had seen online were completely muted and brown even?! Ugly! Nothing like what I had ordered.

 

When I emailed their customer service they directed me to a link showing a disclaimer, that the images on their website may differ considering the resolution of your screens. What? Are you kidding, that’s some bullshit excuse to say they are misleading their clients to purchasing their merchandise? This disclaimer is not on the order form, not throughout checkout, and not under the description of the product itself. They state that you have to look through the companies’ policies and search for that particular disclaimer. It’s there but it’s not visible unless you search for it. Don’t bother to purchase their product, you get what you pay for, trust me on this.

The Balding Bride

You know, seeing patches of missing hair on my scalp doesn’t really scare me as much as it did in the very beginning. I don’t have health insurance so I can’t just go to a doctor to be referred to a dermatologist to learn that I may or may not have a form of alopecia. My mother has thinner hair now than when she did when she was my age and my dad has a full head of hair, so yes it was traumatizing at first, but now I think I’ve learned to numb the fear and move on.

 

Fortunately for me these patches are very hard to see unless I show you, but it still doesn’t make me feel any better. I can honestly say that I’ve only discussed the hair loss with 5 people, who include my parents, my fiancé, my best friend Eddie and my friend Janette. I feel kind of ashamed in a way discussing it with anyone else and I worry that they’ll judge me for it, but I feel so much more at peace voicing it out in my blog.

 

The first blog that I read, had a girl who was a ballerina and working at a stressful job which in turn had her lose her hair, she showed pictures of her hair line and I was so scared at first that I thought if I stopped reading then it wouldn’t true and that what I was going through wasn’t the same. Right now they are small patches, ¾ quarters the length of my thumb, my newest one is closer to my hair line and is the size of a dime. Unlike the ballerina, her hair loss was moving in at an awfully rapid speed, mine I suppose has been going on for some time with my notice. My mom insisted that it is all caused by stress and that my hair would grow back in six months, so I’ve used that to build my confidence that this too will subside. I look at the thumb sized patch and find a little hope at the hair follicles trying to push through. I try not to worry about it too much because there is so much more important things going on in my life.

 

I’m going to be marrying my best friend in 15 months and I’ve kind of dubbed myself “The Balding Bride,” I laugh at it but deep down I am absolutely terrified that it’s happening. Bryan is extremely supportive, especially with my holistic approach, I’ve been using a tea tree oil and tea tree oil scalp conditioner in hopes that a miracle will happen. But if worst comes to worst, then I can get a cool wig that’s already styled and colored the way I want and I don’t have to waste my money on styling products, shampoo, conditioners, hair cuts and colors, those are all upsides to this down spiraling story. In the meantime I will continuously apply tea tree oil unto the balding patches, massage scalp oil into my hair and let the surprisingly satisfying sting of tea tree conditioner into my scalp. What can go wrong right, I lose my hair? It’s already happening so the only thing I can do is wait for my potions to work and hope for the best.

The Journey…

If you’re reading this and you find yourself wanting to grow up faster, I want to tell you to wait and enjoy the journey, you’ll get to your destination eventually but if you don’t get lost along the way it won’t be worth it.

 

When I was younger I would write myself letters hoping that the older me was prettier, smarter, more successful with a closet that would make any girl jealous, I hoped that I was in love and wished such good things for myself, even asking that if I had a Chanel bag yet. I would never get to answer myself but if I did this is what I would say…

 

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and on the days that we feel the ugliest there is a handsome man telling us the opposite, he is the knight in shinning armor that we have been waiting for, and damn was the wait worth it. I love him and he loves me, but before meeting him there was a lot of heart break but we never let those bring us down. We dusted ourselves off even when it felt like things couldn’t get better and we remained strong. Understand that loving someone so much only allows us to be vulnerable to unimaginable pain and loss when the love is gone, so know that with pain there will be healing and what doesn’t kill does make you stronger.

 

We have always been smart, though our decisions may not have always been the brightest; it has molded us to who we are today. I wish that I was a successful publicist, or designer or business woman we both wanted so badly to be, but working in the industry it was really easy to lose our soul and our minds. Right now we work in a little office in Old Town working for people who actually care about our well being and want us to succeed, one day when I truly know what I want with my life I will make another journey to make sure that I am successful in the way I want to be.

 

Our Prince Charming basically built us the Walk in Closet, from the fixtures to the shelves; he did that all, we did help but he took our vision and went with it. We have really nice things, beautiful clothes, handbags and shoes, everything you had wanted as a little girl but as we have gotten older the material things start to under weigh what is really important in life and that my dear is time. Time to spend with our family and friends, time to understand who we are becoming, time is the most critical thing and often forgotten. I am so thankful that my journey thus far has brought so much into my life, great friends, a better relationship with my parents, two baby bears provide unconditional love and a wonderful fiancé who has stood by my side through the good and bad.

 

Understand that we are lucky because we did not live a world of fear but embraced all the changes and has never let it consume us.”

 

Wanting to grow up isn’t bad, but don’t forget to take a moment and just enjoy it all.

Hair Today, Rogaine Tomorrow?

I wrote my initial blog Hair Distress almost 2 months ago and I am just writing a little follow up.

 

My hair has always been my identifier in the crowd; I have always had long luscious shinny black hair that was naturally straight. When Bryan saw the little patchy oblong spot of baldness I brushed it off, it was only a few months later when I noticed it for myself. It was horrifying to see that a bald spot on the side of my head.

 

I don’t have any current photos, but you can definitely see the hair follicles trying to come out. Just recently maybe a week ago I noticed a small balding spot on my hair line as well, it’s not noticeable because I part my hair straight down the middle, but when I fuss with my actual hair you can see a little gap. This spot was not like the one on the side of my head, this one was clean, no follicles in sight and it makes me cringe.

 

I talked to my mom when I first noticed the spotting and she said that stress can trigger it, her hair was thinning with age but there was no sign of alopecia amongst anyone on my family line.

 

Today, as I was reading through my junk mail, a Free People blog reviewed the benefits of Tea Tree Oil, on the bottom of the article it had a recipe for a DIY Tea Tree Scalp, they’ve stated that tea tree oil will promote hair re-growth. I am hoping, crossing all fingers, toes, legs and arms hoping that this will ease my nervous mind. Wish me luck, I will post updates soon!

 

 

Here’s the recipe!

DIY Tea Tree Scalp Oil

Ingredients:

10-15 drops tea tree oil

Carrier oil (jojoba, olive, avocado, almond…)

Resealable light-blocking bottle

Fill your glass bottle 3/4 of the way full with your carrier oil. Add the tea tree oil and mix.

To use: Warm a few drops of tea tree mixture between your palms. Massage oil into scalp. Leave on for an hour or two or up to overnight, then shampoo and condition as normal. Repeat regularly to stimulate the scalp, promote hair growth and keep scalp problems, like dandruff, away.

Source: Wellness Encyclopedia: Talking Tea Tree + Hydrating Hair Oil http://blog.freepeople.com/2016/06/wellness-encyclopedia-tea-tree-oil-hydrating-hair-oil/#ixzz4CWASyyFY

Sister, Sister

Being a teenager in the early 00’s was pretty horrific, being a teen in any era must have been horrific. The non-stop anxiety of whether or not you were good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough. Thinking about it makes me want to revert into a fetal position.

 

You can describe my sense of style at the age of 15 as punk-ish and I believe the term was “scene queen,” I look back at my choice of outfits now and I wonder why my parents let me leave the house! I mean I sewed my jeans skinny, way before skinny jeans were in. I layered multi color pearls around my neck and adorned my white jacket with safety pins, band pins and patches. I don’t know about you but I thought I looked pretty cute. I even cut my hair short and razored the very top to look cooler. My make up was very minimal when it came to face powder, but my eyeliner and lashes were wicked scene.

 

Even in my garb I always found myself fascinated with the love of fashion and style. I read Teen Vogue religiously and watched as new trends moved forward, ultimately helping me find my sense of me. My very very first style icons had to be Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I mean I was growing up as they were, just a lot richer. Let’s enjoy these amazing fashion moments that is Mary-Kate and Ashley!

 

A Letter to My Sister

Dear Kathyrine,

 

Hello, it’s been such a long time since we’ve talked last and there are so many things I just want to say to you. First, I want to say how sorry I am to have missed so many important things in your life, like your high school graduation, your very first boyfriend, your college graduation and most importantly, I’ve missed you. I still don’t understand what had happened to our friendship, our sisterhood, everything, but I hope that we can put that in the past because you are so important to me.

 

Mommy and Daddy have said time and time again that it will take some time for you to come around, I have tried to be so patient, but I miss my little sister, I miss you so much and it is so sad because I know nothing about you now. I never want to wish this kind of pain and hurt on anyone, because through these years it’s felt like I’ve lost some part of me and it was because you have been missing from my life.

 

I am so proud of the woman you’ve become and what you’ve accomplished, the first in our Family to graduate from college, that is such a great honor and I am proud of you. Thank you for taking the place of being the big sister to Kristine and Kisha, because they have been able to look up to someone with so much ambition and drive, something that I lack, I look up to you. My genius little sister who didn’t give a shit about the opinions of others, I wanted so bad to be like you, strong willed and smart. I looked up to you and gloat about you and your accomplishments to my friends, to Bryan and anyone who’d listen.

 

I’m getting married next year, to Bryan and man does he make me so happy. He’s really ambitious and strong willed like you, mommy and daddy really like him, KC too and maybe even Kisha. Bryan is really great, and when he says hi to you he’s not trying to be an ass, he’s honestly trying to break this tension that has been built up for so many years. It’s so funny, when Kisha was sick and we had to pick she and mommy from the Naval Hospital, all Kisha wanted to do was go back home, but mommy forgot her keys. Bryan climbed up the wall and got in through a window to let mommy and Kisha back into the house. Kisha thanked him and he was so happy because he thought that his efforts were finally making some progress. That’s what I want, a little progress, nothing too crazy, not just yet at least, but it would make me so happy to have you attend our wedding. Obviously it would break my heart to not have you come but in the long run I think I would understand.

 

I love you very much and I wish that things weren’t like this; I wish you and I had the same relationship we had back when we were young girls. Now we’re both women trying to find our place in this world, but I would out of everything love if we could make amends, I want to make this effort because life can be hard especially without my sister.

 

I love you, thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I hope it finds you well and I hope that there is still a place in your heart for me.

 

Love Always,

 

Karyn

Buy Me

If I weren’t saving and spending money on wedding things, I would be shopping more often. When I think about it, if I didn’t buy anything Free People last year I could have bought a $1200 wedding dress, but to each their own, I don’t do drugs, I shop Free People.

Product Image: Julia Blouse

Free People “Julia” Blouse – $108

Product Image: Dancing in the Moonlight Top

Free People “Dancing in the Moonlight” – $168

Product Image: Retro Romance Top

Free People “Retro Romance” – $88

Product Image: Sylvia Mini Dress

Free People “Sylvia Mini Dress” – $168

Hair Distress

I am not so sure if I should be concerned about this but a couple of months ago, my fiancé noticed that I had a little bald spot on my head, I laughed it off because I have had long and luscious hair ever since I can remember.

 

Today as I was getting ready for work, I was in the bathroom doing my makeup and I noticed that I had a very strange soft, hairless oblong spot on my scalp. I felt a sense of fear rush through my body, my hair was my crowning glory and now, I am fear that the one thing that made me feel beautiful would suddenly be taken away from me.

 

I’m touching my hair more often now, it’s only been one day, I know that my mom has really fine hair so I am hoping that this is just one little spot and it will start to grow back soon. I hadn’t noticed it before so I am hoping that I can just wait it out, eat healthier, stress less and work out more. I’m afraid, because my hair is the only thing that makes me feel beautiful.