It’s Hard Out There for a Victim

I am really dumb founded at the outcome of these well publicized rape trails, I hate saying it but I really do believe that that there is such thing as White Male Privilege in the Justice System.

 

Let’s see, if these crimes were done by people who are on the tanner side of the spectrum, they would be in prison for more than 6 weeks. But no, these white, male teenagers have been privileged to know that society doesn’t want to see them fail, but to grow from their “mistakes.”

 

The mistake was allowing them to believe that they’re better than anyone else and that the crime that you committed wasn’t as severe. Not wanting to ruin the lives of these boys, I will never consider them to be men, is a way of justifying their actions. What do you think happens to the young women and men they’ve assaulted, what do you think happens to them mentally? Their lives are ruined, not only is what happened to them physically damaging, but it’s also emotionally, mentally and at times socially as well. How do you think these victims are supposed to react when they know their attacker is out there scot-free?
I would be horrified, worried constantly about having to watch my back.

 

So why, why do we allow this to continue on, will there be vigilantes that will defend us, because God knows that our Justice System if you’re a sexual assault victim. They look at you and believe that you might have taken some part in the actions. Drinking too much, wearing clothing that would provoke cat callers, stop blaming the victim and look at it on a larger scale. If you believe that alcohol is the reason why rape happens, go to a bar filled with intoxicated people, do you see people openly raping one another, NO! These actions are done because the perpetrator wanted to do them, they weren’t forced to rape their victim, they did it on their own accord.

 

We need a justice system that will truly seek justice in these countless cases, we need a justice system that victims aren’t afraid to run to in these cases, because from what I see, they victimize the perpetrator and shame the victim.

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Road Trippp

Last week Bryan and I took an Anniversary Vacation and it was definitely memorable!

 

With our new schedules, we’ve been able to spend a lot more time together but this time together was very much needed. We packed up our fur babies, Dakota and Kodiak along with 4 days of clothing and off we went. Bryan’s parents live in LA so we use their home as a base camp, spending our first day and night before a very long drive to San Francisco!

 

Road Trip Do’s and Don’t’s

  • DO top off all your fluids in your car – You don’t want to overheat anything
  • DO bring your own water – Gas Stations charge 25 cents for Ice Cups
  • DO bring sun protection – Sunglasses and Sun Block
  • DO bring hand sanitizing wipes or gel – We were in a Gas Station where the toilet had flies
  • DO have good tunes Driving for long periods of time can be draining, good music always helps
  • DO use the restroom at every stop Go even if you don’t need to, it’ll save you from the pain later
  • Do keep your navigational devices and phones charged – It will not be fun to have dead electronics
  • Do have treats for those fur babies if they get a little restless. Fortunately Kodiak and Dakota slept through the drive.
  • DO NOT over spend on snacks – I learned the hard way, Bryan and I took turns driving to San Francisco and we honestly did not have time to eat snacks along the way, someone was always sleeping
  • DO NOT use your card at remote gas stations – I carried cash specifically for this reason
  • DO NOT be a “Negative Nancy” – Road trips are long and tiring but the journey is the best part

 

Road Trips in general can be very stressful, make sure you are driving a reliable car that you know can make the journey to your destination. It’s fucking terrifying to drive in brand new city and not know if your car will make the drive through. Especially with short trips you want to make it every single stop and listen to your schedule, but what’s the point? You shouldn’t hurry to get to your destination, because the journey is the best part.

SkinnyGirl vs Tipsy Girl

Bethenny Frankel pretty much revived Bravo’s Real Housewives of New York City, the seasons she was wasn’t there I refused to partake in it and in the brief moments that I did I was highly disappointed!

 

Can we talk about last night’s episode now?!

 

In last weeks previews you see that Bethenny confronts Sonja Morgan after the diabolical which was Sonja’s birthday/album release party, just kidding but I do expect that to happen in the near future, she was actually confronting her on Morgan’s attempt at dipping her feet in the alcohol bizz.

 

Basically naming her rose “company” Tipsy Girl…ring any bells to any of you!? If you have been living under a rock or have never tried her tasty anything, Bethenny has a huge brand named SKINNY GIRL! Come on Sonja, you’re not dumb, you must have known that this would raise questions with the cast and the rest of the world. I mean Bethenny did Skinny Girl Margaritas, Cocktails, Popcorn, Sparkling Water, pretty much everything and now Sonja is literally riding on her coat tails by even endorsing let alone owning a “company” called Tipsy Girl!
Why Sonja, why!? Although Benthenny was really laying it on her last night, not once did I feel bad for Sonja. Yes you want to get back to where you were before, but does that seriously mean betraying a friend and if you’re so concerned with your finances should you be out drinking so much?! What pissed me off the most was when their conversation is over and the crocodile tears have dried and you see her walking into the elevator saying, “So now I can’t do pocket books because Luann does them?” Ugh Sonja, you’re not fooling anyone.

 

Bethenny you’re better off, but on a side note, oh my god I definitely want to work for Bethenny or be Bethenny!

Hair Distress

I am not so sure if I should be concerned about this but a couple of months ago, my fiancé noticed that I had a little bald spot on my head, I laughed it off because I have had long and luscious hair ever since I can remember.

 

Today as I was getting ready for work, I was in the bathroom doing my makeup and I noticed that I had a very strange soft, hairless oblong spot on my scalp. I felt a sense of fear rush through my body, my hair was my crowning glory and now, I am fear that the one thing that made me feel beautiful would suddenly be taken away from me.

 

I’m touching my hair more often now, it’s only been one day, I know that my mom has really fine hair so I am hoping that this is just one little spot and it will start to grow back soon. I hadn’t noticed it before so I am hoping that I can just wait it out, eat healthier, stress less and work out more. I’m afraid, because my hair is the only thing that makes me feel beautiful.

Hearing Wedding Bells…

12687775_10156513071205015_6270889807102568884_nOkay so Bryan and I went to Moniker Warehouse in Downtown and I was utterly surprised and shocked at how much we LOVED it.

 

Bryan was extremely hesitant from the beginning because it isn’t in the best neighborhood but since the venue is an inside I don’t really think we have to worry about it. Once we walked inside I felt very light and carefree. *When we went to the Thursday Club I had a really bad headache. Walking into Moniker was just the right feeling for me.

 

The venue was spacious; the images on their website do no do them any justice, there was a room for cocktail hour and the space for the ceremony can instantly be turned in to the reception space within the hour gap. I like the fact that they already have the seats available and tables as well, fortunately we have the decor, but it doesn’t hurt to purchase more.

 

Besides their spaciousness, I absolutely love the fact that our dogs can be part of the event, both the ceremony and the reception and to keep the kids busy I’ll have them in charge of Kodi and Koko. What Bryan loves about Moniker is that we can have outside vendors deliver hot foods and have his bartender friends bartend the wedding. Obviously we would pay them and they would get tip, open bar anyone? But hooray, my mom can actually order the two or three lechon she’s been wanting! It’s starting to get exciting and I am freaking myself out with all the excitement. Out of courtesy Bryan and I will go to the other two venues we were scheduled to visit, but Moniker, I think you’re the one.

There was Football?

Okay, so the National Anthem regardless of who’s singing, always brings me to tears.

 

I’m a pretty emotional person but The National Anthem hits so close to home, especially because I am a Navy Brat. Lady Gaga sang the Anthem and I mean she SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNGGGGGGG the damn thing (respectfully)! It was amazing, beyond amazing, her voice brought chills she sang the anthem with such love and care, I am in tears just remembering it.

 

The other performances including the actual game didn’t have very much sparkle, mind you I barely understood what was going on, it all seemed so slow and drawn out. The halftime show was as dull as last years. I love Beyonce but the new song didn’t give me life, probably because I was half way done with my 10th drink but mostly because it was new. I wanted to hear something fun from her, not something so new that I didn’t even notice she was singing.

 

Alas, nothing can top the performance of the real queen, GAGA ❤

Are We Married Yet?!

I am making a list and checking it twice…

 

NO I am not making a Christmas List, I am starting our wedding guest list. The movies make wedding planning look like such a breeze, but it’s not, it’s really not. If I had the choice, I would get married at the court and save the money we’re about to spend on a trip, but hey that’s just me.
Bryan on the other hand, thinks it is very “hillbilly” to do such a thing.

 

June 10th marks our second year of engagement and I’m happy about that, I have Bryan and he gave me a beautiful ring whilst professing his undying love and devotion. I don’t care anymore, I’m marrying him regardless, whether it is behind the dumpsters where he casually fell in love with me or on Catalina Island where he proposed, it doesn’t matter. My parents were married through the court and have been together forever, having a fancy schmancy ceremony means nothing but wasted money.

 

I am not against marriage if that’s what you’re thinking, what I believe is marriage means more then a wedding ceremony, Bryan and I getting married means more then me taking his name and having his children, it means commitment, devotion and above all LOVE. That’s what people forget sometimes when they’re planning their weddings, it’s about the love you have for one another and everything else just blends in the background.

 

I’m getting carried away, have I mentioned how hard this is?! At least we have a date in mind…October 13, 2017! It’s Friday the thirteenth and Bryan and I both love that creepy shit, plus if people can’t take the time off to go to the wedding it’s nicer for us J

 

We do not have a venue, I don’t have a dress, we have no caterers or djs lined up. Like I’ve said I am not too keen on paying a large sum of money for just one day and one experience, but if I have to it better look exactly how I envision it. Originally we wanted to rent out a huge estate where we can hold both the ceremony and reception, having no limits to caterers or bartenders, but it’s been really difficult. I want to be able to have our fur babies, Kodiak and Dakota to be part of this moment! They have to, it’ll be a really big factor to our decision making when it comes down to venue location.

 

Wedding planning is just an overall pain the ass.
Save yourself from the drama and fights, get eloped.

No Bull Shit

If you’re my friend and I’m telling you that someone is not good enough for you, I’m not trying to be a bitch, I really do mean it.

 

Why?

 

Probably because you have told me time and time again how much they’ve hurt you or I have been the one you call at 1am crying about how he left you for another girl.

 

I am doing this for your own good, to protect you from making the same mistakes again. If you take him back after the countless times he’s lied, cheated and broken your spirit, it will only make his hold on you stronger. You need to woman up and leave; if you don’t, you’ll lose yourself, if you haven’t already done so.

 

Know your self worth and understand that what I am saying is for the best, as your friend I am rooting for you to succeed and you won’t if you have a parasite draining you.

Wardrobe Fundamentals

Wardrobe Fundamentals

 

Fundamental

Adjective – Forming a necessary base or core; of central importance

Noun – A central or primary rule or principle on which something is based

 

Trends will come and go and come again but nothing is better then forming a necessary base for your wardrobe to start. Do you remember watching Bravo and seeing Tim Gunn’s Guide To Style? Tim Gunn had a list of essential pieces that should be found in a stylish gal’s wardrobe.

 

Gunn’s list included the following…

  • Basic Black Dress (I Don’t Have One)
  • Trench Coat
  • Classic Dress Pants ( I Don’t Wear Pants)
  • Skirt
  • Blazer
  • Classic White Shirt
  • Day Dress (No)
  • Cashmere Sweater
  • Fitted Jeans (Nope don’t have that either)
  • Sweat Suit Alternative (does my yoga pants count?)

and a bonus Trendy Item under…$20

 

Looking at this list makes me cringe, I haven’t been too comfortable to wear dress pants or jeans since I was eighteen, partly due to the fact that I fluctuated in weight so often it was hard for me to stay attached. Did you also notice that there were no shoes involved on his list? Well I have formed my own revised list, a list of pieces that are my go when I am choosing what to wear.

 

My List is a bit edgier and alternative…

  • Black Leather Jacket
  • Alternative to a Blazer
  • Basic Black Skirt
  • Trendy Fitted Skirt
  • Flowy White Blouse
  • Edgy Black Heels/Wedges
  • Basic Bootie
  • Basic Cardigan
  • Silk Anything…

 

Your wardrobe should say a lot about you and a lot less on the fashion world, take cues from it but don’t get so lost in being someone else that you lose focus on yourself. Because fashion fades but style is forever.

Free People

 

Why Free People why…

 

I have a really unhealthy obsession with Free People, I am constantly pining over their new looks and trendy pieces wishing that when I press the heart button they would just magically appear in my closet. Why do I have to be so short and oddly shaped, I am five ft one and a half with a pretty average bust of 36DD.

 

I instantly gravitated to the Free People sale this past week and I was so excited for my order to arrive.

 

 

This is the Beck dress as shown on the Free People model. Tres chic, no? Bryan saw the dress online and said that it looked weird, his comment went out from one ear to the next placing the order anyway. When it arrived I looked at it on a hanger and thought that this was going to be an adventure. The material was lovely, it was white and ethereal just how I expected, the fabric was sturdier then I had anticipated. I try the medium dress on and to my surprise it fits really nice, the length was perfect minus a really crucial piece!

 

That damn keyhole was way too exaggerated, extremely too low, I mean if you have a flat chest it would look amazing but “OMG” I looked like a street walker, but just in better clothing. I wished it would have fit better or that the keyhole wasn’t too long but when I returned it I tried it on in the large and it was so loose everywhere else and made me look like a potato.